Ready or Not, Here Comes 2019.

Many have asked how we are doing?  It depends.  Most days, we are moving forward.  Some days we are sad, but we still move forward.  Then, there are the days that just breathing is hard.  Each of us have had a mix of those.  We are trying to enjoy the little things in life and forge new traditions.  To that end, I jumped off the deep end and booked a vacation for the girls and I.  It will not be until later in the year, but it is a full fledged vacation.  Kevin loved to travel and explore new places.  He absolutely would have wanted me to keep doing that with the girls, but I am terrified.  Do not get me wrong.  I am well traveled and have traveled all over the world, often alone.  Yet, this felt different.  It would be just us.  We are blessed, in that, after hearing about my planned adventure, my parents asked if they could mirror our vacation. Of course, vacations are always merrier with others (correction:  mostly always). 

The year starts out bittersweet.  We will move on, yet we will never forget.  We will keep Kevin's memory alive, while living life to the fullest!  It is tricky and confusing and happy and sad and a myriad of emotions that I cannot even begin to understand, but here we go!

My sister in law, Sherry, sent us these beautiful flowers.  They bloomed forever, each day surprising us with another gorgeous lily opening up.  They were a bright spot for us!

Our friends, Wes and Heidi, sent this awesome basket to us after Kevin's passing.  It was a basket full of dirt with instructions to water.  I can handle that, right?  So far, so good.  Here we are six weeks later with a beautiful 'something' growing up.  I need to find the card.  I am sure it told me what these beauties are, but I am just enjoying watching them grow.  I sent a picture to Wes the other day, and he replied, "Well all be...Glad it worked and you are enjoying it.  We were concerned it was just going to be dirt."  Nope!  It is going to be something beautiful!  Thank you, friends.

The girls are doing well.  Again, they have their moments.  Kendall had such a moment, the morning of her birthday.  It comes unexpectedly.  It comes out of nowhere.  She was simply tasked with cleaning her room.  Yet, there was a box.  In it were awards from the Awana Quiz Bowl, Awana Grand Prix and Gymnastics.  I could hear gasping coming from her room.  In one of my positive parenting moments, I went to check if she was hurt.  She was not physically hurt, but she was in full sobbing mode.  She was missing her Daddy.  All of these tokens reminded her of him.  He was at every one of these events.  He would not miss them for the world.  He was such a supportive Dad.  I held her as she cried.  I reminded her of how proud he was of her.  Yes, we will each continue to have these moments, and we will hold each other and remind each other of his love.

As one year ends, the new blog books come.  The arrival of them is always anticipated.  The girls read it online periodically.  However, when that box arrives they are excited.  They read for hours.  Here they are, this week, reading the books.  Sidney dove in before even taking her coat off. 

Kendall stayed up until 11pm reading her copy (on a school night, UGH).  I am so thankful for your friendship Kristin Brandt and for blessing me with this nugget of an idea years ago.  My girls will have these memories forever.  Oh, and thank you for the suggestion of Sling TV:)

Here is to a new chapter.  We will not close the book on the old chapter, but we will put one foot in front of the other and keep going!