Mom...

This morning has been a difficult time.  My mom has always been a healthy woman.  Last year, she had the flu and ended up in the emergency room with complications.  That was the first time that I can recall my mom ever being sick.  This time it is different.  Here is what happened last night:

4pm:  I talked to my mom on the phone.  She said that she had a touch of the flu the night before, but was feeling better.  About 10 minutes into the conversation, she said she had some indigestion and needed to call me back.  I told her that we could talk later.  We were heading over to our friends house for New Year's Eve.

4:30pm:  As we were going into the Brandt's house, I sent my mom a text as to see if she was feeling better.  I didn't hear back and assumed she had laid down to rest.  Kevin and I left our phones in the car.

7pm:  We got back into the car and Kevin picked up his phone.  There were numerous missed calls from my sister.  Before I had a chance to check my phone, Kevin's phone rang.  It was my sister.  She had just received a call from the hospital.  Mom was in the emergency room and Steph was on her way.  Dad was with my mom, something about her heart.

The rest was kind of a blur as details rolled in.  My mom had suffered a "massive heart attack" is what the doctor said.  Only 20% of her heart was working.  The rest was damaged.  They took her to the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit.  From what they can tell, there is no blockage, etc.  The doctor said this is one of those FREAK heart attacks.  Similar to a young triathlete or basketball player that just suffers from a freak heart attack. 

Today, they will run some more tests to determine whether the heart will begin to heal itself.  The cardiologist said that if the heart heals itself, she will look back on this in a couple of months as if it never happened.  That is what we are praying for. 

Personally, I struggle.  We do not have serious illness in our family or tragedy for that matter.  Therefore, I do not know how to deal with it.  My friend Amber stopped by this morning and told me to stop being an engineer and just feel.  That is hard.  I don't know WHAT to feel or HOW to feel.  Strange, but true. 

So here we are, starting out the new year on a very strange note.  If you are reading this, pray for my mom.  The doctor kept telling my dad that this is not something you exercise, eat, medicate or 'will' yourself out of .  So, I say we need prayer!