Doing It Afraid.

This may come as a surprise to some, but I am terrified of horses.  We had two horses growing up, but I was never comfortable on them.  My sister was the horse girl.  I was not.  So when Sidney showed an interest in horses, I went along for the ride, assuming it would be short lived.  Boy was I wrong!  Somehow this spring, I decided to buy a horse.  I am not entirely sure what I was thinking.  That being said, Pigeon has become part of the family.  In fact, everyone had ridden him except me.  He truly is the best horse ever.  I trust him with my own daughter.  Yet, somehow, I could not muster the umph to get on him myself.  He is a good horse, but a fast horse.  Sidney  has worked with him a lot.  He has relaxed so much.  I have watched Sidney give other people rides on him.  She is so good with him and with the new riders.  

So, I surprised myself one day when I went to pick her up from the ranch.  She was going to clean his stall.  Instead, I told her I wanted her to give me a ride on Pigeon.  I was NOT dressed for the occasion at all, but I knew it was now or never.  The minute the words left my mouth, my heart started pounding, and I had to start deep breathing.  Sidney walked me through the process of brushing him out, picking his hooves and saddling him up.  At first I only wanted her to give me a lead line ride around the round pen.  She is such a good and patient teacher that she gave me time to get comfortable.  I have good balance, so that was in my favor and staying on was not too hard.  It was all the little things.  There is so much to think about.  It is much more complicated than driving a car.  Eventually, I let her take the lead line off.  At one point, I gave him too much squeeze, and he went trotting off.  That was enough to make my heart start to pound.  Yet, I knew he would do nothing to harm me.  

I would not venture to say I am ready to make this a regular thing, but I certainly was smiling ear to ear the whole evening.  Mostly I was proud of myself for doing it, despite my being uncomfortable.  Here's to 'doing it afraid'!