First I will talk about little Sidney. She has always been Miss Mellow, yet lately we have had the most difficult time with her. Part of this is very good, since it is important that she test her boundaries. The other part is pure frustration. For one, she has recently started throwing full-on tantrums. We have experienced two of these occurrences in the middle of stores recently. I have had to swoop her up and swiftly head for the exit. GRR! Then there is the potty training. YES, potty training. As some of you may know, we thought we were past this point. Last June, she was done with diapers. She wore big girl panties. We went on 9 hour car trips in which she held it until the next stop and had no accidents. So, toward the end of July we were frustrated, irritated and 'ashamed to say' ANGRY when she would just smile at us and poop her pants. What does a parent do? We tried positive rewards, we tried negative consequences, we tried every trick in the book. So back to pull-ups she went. Kevin and I were getting more annoyed by the day. We would not allow her to swim (even with a swim diaper) for obvious reasons. She always seems to think that the swim diaper is the most convenient place to go to the bathroom. We took her cartoon privileges away. We even took Emma away at one point (though this was against my better judgement and she immediately got her little comfort doll back). Last night I even put a call in to her dance teacher to take her out of dance class. Kevin and I could not even consider continuing to reward such bad behavior.
Well, today I had a long talk with a very wise woman. She listened intently as I vented my frustration. Then she stopped me and asked me, "Heather when did you start talking about buying a new home and putting yours up for sale?" I replied, "The end of July." She asked a second question, "When did you say Sidney started all of this bad behavior?". I thought, "Ummm...the end of July." Then this wise woman went on to explain a few things about children. By the end of our talk it was all becoming very clear. Sidney needed our attention. Granted we give our kids a lot of attention, but right now she needs extra attention. She does not need to be punished for something that she is not likely doing on purpose (though I was believing that she was). She needs extra hugs and extra love - possibly even coddled a bit during this tricky time. This should have all been clear to me after our rough night last evening. After lecturing our three year old on the trials of life, she woke up in the middle of the night crying for mommy to hold her. We are not by any stretch bad parents, in fact we are great parents. However, we really missed this one! After this revelation, I called Kevin and told him about the conversation. We agreed to listen to the suggestions. I sat Sidney down tonight and told her that we were going back to the basics. We gave her privileges back (except for swimming of course; that is one rule that will have to remain). We filled the m&m jar back up and told her we would work together and help in reminding her to go the bathroom. About 10 minutes later, what did she do? You guessed it, she earned her first m&m again. She has been grinning ear to ear all night. The dance teacher must have thought I lost my marbles when I called to re-enroll Sidney in dance class the day after taking her out. Oh well, I suspect this will not be my last parenting blunder. It certainly has not been my first.
As for my other child...she is going to give her daddy some more gray hairs (is this possible?). Last night on the way home from school she squeals with delight that she tried to kiss boys today. WHAT? Yes, her and Leah. I asked her what would possess her to do such a thing, she said because it was funny to see the boys run. I had to laugh at this simple answer. What innately causes little girls to chase boys and little boys to run? Hilarious! Kevin, on the other hand, did not think the story was so funny. He gave her a stern talking to. At one point she looked over at me with great concern. I reassured her that daddy was just teasing "For Now!".
No comments:
Post a Comment